Ramblings and a song
I’m supposed to post daily in preparation for nanowrimo, but just the thought of writing something every day (novel, aside) scares me to death. And I know exactly why I’m terrified (hold on while I find my horn-rimmed glasses, people take me more seriously when I’m wearing them). So, now that I look more like Tina Fey (yeah, right) let tell you why blogging daily is such a dilemma.
It’s my *clears throat* deep-rooted, crippling phobia of commitment – unfortunately, my phobia doesn’t have a fascinating name like coprastasophobia, the fear of constipation. For example, I practically get hives when I’m about to sign a contract. I feel like I’m giving up my freedom and handing my life over to my employer, like I’m entering a binding agreement I cannot break, like I’m Snow White knowingly biting that poisoned apple. I get very philosophical; I start conversing with The Universe. (I’m a little self-centered and easily distracted, so our conversations are brief, one-sided and about me. I do all the talking.) Maybe it’s because there was always something off about the contracts I’ve signed, none of them sounded just quite right. Maybe it’s because I haven’t found my dream job yet (read: professional ice-cream taster). The point is, I despise signing contracts.
But there are no contracts when it comes to blogging or taking part in nanowrimo, right? And so of course, I find other things to obsess about. The moment I commit to writing something, I instantly set myself up for failure. Like with the blog, I kept thinking: how am I going to come up with something new to write every day? How will I ever have time? Who’s going to read it anyway? I’m my own worst critic. I still can’t believe I’ve had three blogs since 2004! What was I thinking leaving imperfect pieces of writing on the Internet for everyone to see? *Shudders*
Yet here I am, despite all the negativity, still blogging. I push myself because I want to write more; I want constructive criticism and I want to record my thoughts, share my feelings and learn from others. I will try to post daily but if I don’t, you’ll let it slide, won’t you? Posts may be disconnected, hurried or dull. Don’t say I didn’t warn you. Ok. That’s it. Anticlimactic, but that’s all I’ve got for now. *Taking off the glasses*
Ready for the song? It comes with a short story.
I was driving out of Kuwait City late last night, windows down, relishing the cool breeze. I was glad to be wearing a denim jacket! Yes… Summer. Is. Over.
It was the perfect weather for my favorite song by Adele. I had this on repeat: