Can you keep a secret?
Have you noticed the password-protected post from a couple of days ago? I think we should sit down with a cup of tea and some cookies and talk about it because that sort of thing will be happening more often on this blog. Ok I’ll give you a few minutes to make that tea (don’t worry, salty crackers will do).
These locked posts contain my darkest secrets, dangerous confessions and sneak peeks (progress reports, pictures and diagrams) of an invention I have been tirelessly working on since 2001. Several of you have already received your password to access the aforementioned post. Joy! You have gained full access to my blog, my world, my brain. Your life is now complete.
Everybody else falls into four different categories:
a) The Chosen Ones:
I have decided to share these posts with you but you have to be a little patient and remember that snail mail has earned its name for a reason! Once you do receive your envelope, please open it gently. If you tear into it like an eager child on Christmas Day and destroy your password, I will not be sending you another one. Stamps are expensive.
Oh and to further punish you for your rash behavior (in the hopes of teaching you a lesson), I will block your IP address for a month. During that month you will not be receiving any updates from F Scribbles. So, I can’t say this enough but please be gentle. Use a letter opener or something.
b) Your request is still pending:
All the folks who e-mailed or called asking me for the password? Oi! Take a chill pill. I’m still thinking about it. It’s not that I don’t trust you, it’s…. hm.
I may ask you to swear under
oats oath that you will not speak about anything you see on this blog, that you don’t share the posts with anyone and most importantly that you do not replicate my invention. The precautions I take are necessary, they are not personal. Not that you understand the distinction. And not that I care.
c) Yeaaaah, but no but:
How do I explain this one? If I’m not sharing my password with you I suspect that either you’re working with Mossad orrrr that you’re collaborating with my nemesis (a person who shall remain unnamed, but who has been undermining me for almost 18 years now). Can’t have you looking at all that classified information now, can I? Or maybe you’re just not cool enough. Ah, sorry – that last part’s not true but yeah, but no…
d) Gullible earthlings:
If you’re reading this post and you still haven’t figured out that I’m kidding, I don’t know how I can help you (ha, I probably can’t). I made this whole thing up. Please stop crying. Protected posts are my attempt at keeping a journal of day-to-day events and activities. They’re boring (uh-oh, reverse psychology kicking in?), long-winded and don’t really serve a purpose – as fas as you’re concerned.
Hope you’re all having a wonderful day.
Good-bye April, good-bye!